Getting My Way

Rob and I have had the privilege of raising three very independent people. From a young age, though vastly different in personal temperaments, each was known to utter loud proclamations of, “I do it myself!” Like most toddlers and preschoolers, they wanted to get their way, when they wanted it and how they wanted it.

One such incident from Libby’s childhood comes to memory. Libby and Rob had come to meet me at the airport. When I spotted them in sight, I also heard a fairly dramatic tantrum coming out of my very young daughter. Thinking I would be clever, I approached Rob as if he were a total stranger. Speaking loud enough that those around could hear me I announced, “I am so sorry sir. It must be difficult having such an ill-behaved child.” Being quick witted, my husband looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Yes, unfortunately she is exactly like her mother.” Ouch.

Sadly, Rob’s quick witted response was far too accurate. I do want to get my own way. And I often find myself the ill-behaved child when I do not get it. Fortunately, my choices have matured through the years. I no longer have a fit because I cannot have a treat when I want it (at least most of the time). My desires of today lend themselves to a more serious nature.

I find myself wanting to get my way concerning those that I love and care about. I want their lives to be free of pain. When the report comes from the doctor, I want the news to be good. When the results come back from the job interview, I want to see them hired. Let the mechanic say the automobile will be just fine; it only needs a small, inexpensive adjustment. I want the teacher to say the child is succeeding marvelously in school, not struggling and failing. If the phone must ring at three a.m., let it be to herald good news. How about the military saying, “All is safe, everyone go home.”?

In spite of my wants and desires, this is not the world I encounter each day. The doctor’s news is not always good. People end up without work. Phones ring late in the night and not for happy tidings. Cars die, children struggle and our military is not resting safely at home. Where is God when all these things come to pass? If my aims have matured, why can’t I get my way? How do I deal with these disappointments? Am I doomed to become the ill behaved child?

The subject of why God allows pain has been written about by much more knowledgeable sources than I. These two simple truths from the Bible help me when that question arises in my mind.

The Lord has established His throne in heaven and
His kingdom rules over all.
Psalm 103:19 (NIV)

For He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.
Lamentations 3:33 (NIV)

The truths that God is both in control and about my good bring me peace when the world around me seems to be falling apart. Mature aims or not, I do not need to get my way. Memo to my slow learning brain – I am not in control because I do not need to be. My control equals disaster for all concerned.

In order to deal with disappointments without becoming the ill behaved child, I need more truth. I need to know there is some greater purpose to the pain I see all around.

Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, know that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approve faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.
Romans 5: 3-4 (AMP)

I love the description of this endurance in "The Message" translation of the Bible – passionate patience. Not being one given to waiting quietly, this description gives room to the idea that I can wait on God expectantly, busy with hope, even when things around me are not going my way. These trials, which range from inconvenient to devastating, are roadways to habits I want to see developed in my life and the lives of those I love. Would I choose these things? No. Can God work good out of them? Absolutely.

How do I know? I have seen Him do it. Not once. Not twice. Actually, more times than I can count. God has evidenced to me over and over again in my life and the lives of others that He is the Master at weaving beauty out of enormous pain and ugliness. Are you not getting your way today? Keep your eyes peeled and look for the beauty God is weaving amidst your pain.