Sassy Struggles

“And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?”
Daniel 3:15b (ESV)

The story of Daniel’s three friends, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego has always been one that intrigued me. Imagine being separated far from your families and culture, finding yourself in a strange place you never imagined you would be, and having to learn new ways to live out your life. Isn't that a difficult concept to wrap your brain around? For military wives and others living overseas, it is part of their every day life.

When asked to bow down to a statue of Nebuchadnezzar, the ruler of Babylon, these brave men simply said, “No. We worship God alone.” While I will probably never be physically dragged in front of a gold statue and asked to kneel, I do face daily struggles in my life. And sometimes, these struggles get just as sassy as Nebuchadnezzar and begin to taunt me.

“Things are not going to come together this time.”

“Neither you nor your family will survive this season of struggle.”

“No one is going to deliver you.”

Here is the good news. My sassy struggles do not have the ultimate power over me. The United States military does not have the ultimate power over me. My husband’s next assignment or deployment does not have the ultimate power over me. None of these things have any more power over me than Nebuchadnezzar had over Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Sure, they can create a lot of smoke and drama. But ultimately, I don’t have to listen to their sass because they have no ability to stand against my God. My Father has the ultimate power over me.

Begin fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.
Romans 4:21 (NIV)

So which of your struggles is giving you some sass today? Remind yourself and that struggle that God has the power. :)

But

I have been blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law. Through the years we have had glorious times laughing with and at each other. Like the time we decided to perm each other’s hair and instead of adding relaxer in the final step, my mother-in-law put more permanent solution in my hair. True story. Ridiculous hair, but really good times.

Known as Deedah to our family, she has always been great about allowing us to tease her. One of our favorite things to tease her about was giving advice to us. You always knew when you were going to get advice from Deedah. She would preference her words by saying, “Now I don’t want to be bossy but . . . . “ These words would always be followed by ideas about which she totally wanted to be bossy – or at least heard.

Sometimes, God says “but” when talking to his children also. However, when God says “but,” it tends to have totally different implications than giving advice.

"I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on the earth will perish.
But I will establish my covenant with you, and you will enter the ark-you and your sons and your wife and your sons’ wives with you."
Genesis 6:17-18 (NIV)

God is talking to Noah about building the ark in this passage. He is warning Noah that everything on the earth will perish. But, in the midst of this everything proclamation, God lets Noah know what he is willing to do for him and his family.

Many of us, like my Deedah, tend to use “but” to say we did not really mean what we said in the first place. When God says “but,” it tends to be His deliverance of a totally new option. God tends to deal with us in His ability to reverse our situation. You deserve _____________ or you could be experiencing _______________, “but,” says God. Suddenly a situation that seemed poised to be a negative for us is changed. Because of His grace, His totally unmerited favor in our lives, God steps in and takes what was meant to be a negative and turns it into a positive.

Today, I want to remember and think about the times God has said “but” in my life. Times when the world or my circumstances pointed to a negative, or maybe even horrific, outcome, but God stepped in to deliver another option. I want to tune my ears to hear what He has to say when it appears that things in my life are going downhill. How about you? Does God have a “but” coming just around the corner that you need to hear? Why not ask Him today?

Jigglypuff and the President

Every year at Halloween, our church hosted a community fall festival event. Children dressed in costumes and came with their families to play games, chase greased pigs, and eat candy and junk food. Since this particular October fell a few days before a presidential election, some elected officials were scheduled to stop by and speak briefly to the crowds.

The event was a fairly large-scaled one. It was tough for us and our friends to keep track of our kids. When the officials were getting ready to speak, the children were asked to huddle in the front of the crowd. Being as short as Zaccheus must have been, the large crowd on flat ground meant there was no way I could see my daughter or her friends. So as my husband and our friends kept guard around the back of the crowd, I circled up to a nearby hill and kept watch on the kids from a higher level.

The main speaker of the evening was former President George Bush. After several officials spoke and shared their message, the president stepped to the podium. During his speech, he addressed the children in their different costumes, mentioning several of the characters they represented. Our daughter, dressed as a round, pink Pokémon character named Jigglypuff, began yelling “Jigglypuff”, hoping the president would call her character’s name. Much to our surprise, the President stopped his speech, acknowledged Jigglypuff and invited her to join him on stage. As I looked on, my daughter was shuffled by Secret Service agents until she stood onstage between Barbara Bush and the mayor of Orlando.

When the President finished his speech, he turned, bowed and began to have a conversation with our daughter. As I watched from my perch, unable to coach or give any quick lessons about how to properly address the President of the United States, Mr. Bush turned to the microphone and asked for everyone’s attention again. He then picked Libby up in his arms and held her up to the microphone while she sang a song about Jigglypuff. Yes, our six year old actually asked a former President of the United States to pick her up so she could sing a song. Trust me, Zaccheus was falling out of her tree.

As a six year old, our daughter had basically no fear. She seemed to feel everyone was equally accessible and did not hesitate to ask much of anything from much of anyone. Her life verse in those days could have been:

Yet you do not have because you do not ask. James 4:2b (NKJV)

While her encounter with the President was both thrilling and unnerving for me as a parent, I have to admit I loved her spirit in the whole event.

I have a Father in heaven that has both made me and bought me. And He has called me to ask Him for what I need.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7 (NIV)

My problem is that too often I find excuses to keep my needs to myself or share them in sad tales to my friends and family who truly have no power (outside of prayer, of course) to do anything for me but graciously listen. Too often, I forego the total access I have to the Creator of heaven and earth that has all authority and has already told me to ask Him about my needs. No Secret Service to scoot through. No yelling my name just waiting to be called. No protocol lessons necessary. All the requirements have already been met for me by Jesus, when He hung on the cross.

How about you? What do you need to ask your heavenly Father for today? You will need no clearance or have to wait to be noticed. He waits to hear your requests and answer your prayers. And when He does, it will be even more exciting than Jigglypuff meeting the President.

Surgery

On a regular mom day, many years ago in our home, my son came marching through the kitchen with his toy tool box, followed by his best friend from next door. They looked like very determined little men as they paraded through with eyes straight ahead. I was working at the sink, but paused long enough to ask them what they were doing. My son kept walking without a response or a moment’s hesitation, but his friend quickly called out, “Surgery.”

Deciding this was a comment worth pursuing, I paused in my work to follow them. When I arrived in the den, I saw my son standing on the back of the couch removing his father’s stuffed duck from the wall while his friend was getting out the plastic saw. Apparently, the decision had been made that their toy tool box contained the proper tools for performing an operation, needed or not, on my husband’s treasured wall hanging. After some words along on the lines of “stop” and “don’t” echoed through the room, the duck was returned to its rightful place on the wall and the boys set off, looking for their next victim.

I’m not sure what surgical success they could have actually attained with a plastic saw, but they were very serious about their work. And that’s when I was reminded of some habits in my own life.

God means what He says. What He says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey.
Hebrews 4:12 (The Message)

Sometimes, I long to see changes in my attitudes or behaviors or sometimes I am looking for answers to questions and concerns in my life. I run around, kind of like a chicken with my head cut off (as my momma used to say), asking advice, researching books and hunting for answers. Often, these efforts are about as effective as surgery on an already dead duck with a plastic saw.

When I choose to go to God’s word for my counsel, life change, attitude adjustment or new thought pattern, I find a tool that has real power for achieving actual results. I love that the book of Hebrews tells us His word is powerful enough to cut through everything, even my doubts and defenses. As I read God’s word, copy it, meditate on it, say it aloud, pray it and memorize it, the power only a real tool can deliver is at my disposal.

So how about you? Where are you struggling today? Are you choosing to work diligently, but using ineffective tools? What if you put away the plastic saw of your own efforts and starting using the powerful scalpel of God’s word? God’s word is a powerful tool for whatever surgery your life needs today.

Making Mistakes

There were those big brown eyes. You could get lost in the pools they formed. There were the chubby cheeks and the delightful thunder thighs. There was the perpetual smile on his face. He was the most precious thing I had ever laid my eyes on and God had given him to me. How could I be anything but totally and completely in love?

My firstborn son caused emotions to rise in me I did not even know existed. Yes, I was crazy about his father but, wow. These mom feelings were a whole new ballgame. And out of all that love and emotion came a deep desire to be the best mother I could possibly be. Parenting was something I desperately wanted to get “right.”

But here is my sad news. I didn’t. That sweet baby boy God gave me was completely deserving of the perfect mother, but frequently I just did not manage to get it right. I made mistakes. Lots of them. When people ask about my mistakes as a mom, my first response is always, “Would you like them alphabetically or chronologically?”

So what happened? Did I channel my tiger mother too much? Or not enough? Did I not have enough knowledge of parenting? Did I not love him enough?

Have you ever asked yourself similar questions? Have you ever, like me, wanted so badly to get something right? Did you also find yourself on the failing end of that equation? If so, I have some good news for you.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Before my son was ever born, God knew I would make mistakes. He understands all of my weaknesses better than I understand them myself. And like any loving parent, I think my heavenly Father smiles at my attempts to get it “right,” even if that means I make a big mess in the process. He graciously comes alongside me and says, “It’s okay Bettina. My power is made perfect in your weaknesses.”

So how about you? Where are you frustrated today that you have not been able to get something “right” that you desperately wanted to do well? You only need to open your hands to God who wants to use the very places where you are making mistakes to show His strength in you.

That precious baby boy who had such a mistake ridden mother? He is an incredible man today that makes his mom smile. If you asked him about the mistakes, he would probably softly chuckle and smile and tell you he didn’t remember any. That’s just the kind of man he is – a man who had a mistaken ridden mom and a God who showed off His strength in those very weaknesses.

Excitable

As the kids were growing up, one of the comments we received repeatedly was, “It must be so interesting living at your house.” Trust me; this was rarely issued as a compliment. We were/are loud. Passionate. Argumentative. And definitely, excitable. Yes, there are wildly different and varying personalities within the group, but over all - well, it’s interesting. Just ask my poor daughter-in-law.

Some of this can be delightfully fun. Something wonderful happening in your life? We will party and celebrate with you till the cows come home. Going through a difficult time? We consider it a privilege to walk by your side with empathy. But sometimes, in the midst of all the drama and excitement, details do get overlooked.

In the book of Acts, there is a wonderful story about Peter’s escape from prison. Peter had been arrested by Herod and was surrounded by four squads of soldiers. During the night, an angel came to the prison and brought Peter out of prison. After realizing he was not dreaming but truly had been set free, Peter went to the house where other believers were gathered and praying for him. When Peter knocks, our excitable sister Rhoda comes to the door.

When she recognized Peter’s voice, she was so overjoyed she ran back
without opening it
and exclaimed, “Peter is at the door!” Acts 12:14 (NIV)

“Without opening it.” Boy, can I relate to this girl. Begging God for change in my life or in the lives of others, asking for Him to do what only He can do, but so excited and overjoyed when He moves, I forget to answer the door. Why is that? Am I in shock? Did I have too little faith? Did I doubt God wanted to move in my life? Or am I just aware that what I ask for may not be what I need? Understanding my motives is not something that comes easily.

You will be happy to know that Acts 12 tells us that while Rhoda tried to convince the house that Peter was really there, he continued to knock until the door was opened for him to come in. In my excited moments, I have to remember to continue to open doors. Often, when God moves in my life, He then asks me to follow with choices of obedience.

No matter the motivating behaviors behind my shock, I think being excited and overjoyed can be a positive thing. How often, as adults, do we become so mired down in the struggles of our life that we forget to be excited over the things God is actually doing in our life? Are we so depressed over the difficult realities we are facing that we miss the joys of everyday things?

So how about you? Where are you struggling today to see any excitement in your life? Can we both work to open our eyes just a little wider? Maybe, in the midst of struggle, we have missed seeing the hand of God at work in our lives. When you see what He is doing in your life, get excited, but also remember to open the door. Walking the excitable life, you never know what interesting days God might have in store for you.

When Christmas is Hard

In my senior year of high school, my family was celebrating the holidays and preparing for Christmas much as we had every other year. The house was decorated, presents purchased, wrapped and under the tree, groceries being laid in for holiday feasts and parties being attended. Everything changed for us in an instant that holiday when my fifteen year old only brother was suddenly killed in an accident three days before Christmas.

Having a funeral for a teenager is never easy, but something becomes extra difficult when you have to rush in order to complete it before Christmas Eve. The shock of the loss echoed not only through my family, but throughout our small town. Some students, who were my friends at the high school, were unable to complete their exams as they dealt with the shock of what had occurred. Students at the junior high had to deal with the blow of coming to school and looking at an empty seat that had just the day before been full.

Our church was a large community in a smaller town. Not only did they struggle with the loss of my brother, but we also lost a young mom of three small children to cancer that same weekend. The pain of it all seemed too much to bear. These were the circumstances my pastor had to face that Christmas Eve when he stepped in the pulpit.

It is difficult to imagine the task Bro. Wilson had as he looked on our congregation. What do you say in a season that is supposed to be filled with joy yet is reeking with so much pain? Though I cannot give you exact quotations these many years later, I will never forget the message he brought that day.

Christmas is not always a time of joy. Sometimes it is a day of pain. But whether it is a day of pain or a day of joy, there is something we must never forget. Jesus still came. Jesus still comes. In the midst of our brightest shining moments or in the midst of the darkest pain, Jesus comes.

So where does Christmas find you this year? Are you struggling with estrangement from a loved one, unemployment, missing a spouse or child who is away from home, serious illness, loss of a loved one or a difficulty that no one knows but you? Do the carols that once brought joy to your heart bring tears to your eyes this season? May I encourage you today as Bro. Wilson encouraged me those many years ago? Wherever Christmas finds you, Jesus still comes. And because He came, your pain is not in vain. Nor is it the end of your story. Jesus came to die and pay the price for the wrongs that separate us from God. Because He came, we can accept His payment for the bill we owe. And when we accept that payment, this is what we will be a part of one day:

For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their
Shepherd;
He will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Revelation 7:17 (NIV)

And Christmas will be hard no more.